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17-Nov-2019 16:14

When love, lust and all things in between come calling, dating apps appear to be the only way to meet new people and experience romance in 2019.

They're not of course, but social media and popular culture inundate us with messages about the importance of these seemingly easy and effective approaches to digital dating.

Only 60 per cent of my opening lines were answered and I met just 10 men in five months, which is a 9 per cent "success" rate.

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Writing helped me cope with the bizarre things I encountered, and my anthropological insights told me that my observations were unique as well as timely. What does it reveal about feminism and gender in contemporary dating culture?It ignores men's feelings about adopting a more passive dating role. I learned the hard way that despite our feminist advances, many men are still not comfortable waiting to be asked out.This was confirmed by several of my matches, who discussed women's acquisition of socio-economic and sexual power as a problem.Like the attractive guy with the prickly arms (because he shaved them) who twirled me around in my dining room but could barely tie his shoes up because his pants were so tight.

Or, the guy who talked obsessively about being 5'6" (167cm) but really, really wasn't.If you’re not in a committed relationship, you are probably talking to multiple romantic interests. With the abundance of ways to meet people, including dating apps and social media, friends, work, or mixers, it’s hard to figure out the rules of engagement when you’re dating around or seeing someone who might be.The blurred boundaries of modern dating often lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.Drawing upon my personal experiences and academic insights about sexuality, gender and power, this article explores what happens when dating apps fail on their promises.



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