Sex love and dating
Once, a date told her she was the girl of his dreams.
‘He actually said I would make the perfect girlfriend, and that’s why he couldn’t see me anymore’, she laughs. If they find someone they really like, they run the other direction as fast as they can.’ Alejandro would do the same thing.
But I was wrong; the picture is a lot more complicated than that.
In an anonymous survey, 78 percent of students said they would prefer to be having relationship sex than any other kind.
‘Instead, we pass time with Netflix binges, homework, or superficial relationships.’ It’s living, but not really , she says.
‘What people mean when they say they want a relationship is that they would like to snap their fingers and have the perfect companion who makes them feel secure and happy and who loves them in spite of their flaws.
So I assumed their interest in romantic commitment would probably reflect those influences.
That is to say, I thought they wouldn’t be interested in commitment at all.
From a consumer behaviour perspective, the easy availability of superficial sexual connection ‘depletes the value of the consumer item, which in this case is human relationship.’ Students are used to buying something, using it once, and throwing it away.The Netherlands has one of the highest divorce-to-marriage ratios in the world; according to the statistics, probably over half of Dutch RUG students have parents who are divorced.‘My parents are in the middle of a divorce right now’, one student confides. I’m not confident I know what a healthy, committed relationship is like.And an overwhelming majority – 76 percent – say they want to be married someday (80 percent of male respondents and 71 percent of female respondents).
So it seems safe to say that most students actually Privately, students told me they would love to have the sexual and emotional benefits of a committed relationship. ‘Most relationships at the RUG are about comfort, not commitment.‘I don’t want to owe anyone anything.’ Prioritising personal freedom might be lonely, he says, but it’s necessary.That’s why so far, he’s avoided relationships at any cost.I want one, but I have no idea what that even means.’ Ben, an AI student from Ireland, thinks RUG students are just being practical when they hold commitment at arm’s length.